when i look at the sky

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day

And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before

And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss

And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

DMZ trip was wellllll ok i guess. but somehow it makes me feel like plunging myself into an amazing career and working with organizations like the UN. which is good since im usually an unambitious prick. the man u match was good though. especially since im not a soccer person. i kinda rooted for seoul to win though, somehow, they appeal to me more. though i must admit owen was coughs coughs not bad looking. hahaah.

todayyyyy i want to thank... miaos, for listening to me cry, for talking to me before i start crying, and talking to me when im crying. for always just being there to listen to me ramble on, just cause i dont want to/ cant bear to feel the loneliness in walking home alone. soooo, thank u thank u thank u. for being there, whenever, wherever.

and. he-who-shall-not-be-named, thank u, for being the sweetest ever support i have ever felt. for making me feel so so so much love, though well everything is sorta awkward and stagnated now. but still, u gave me memories that were lovely max, and u are amazing. :) it just wasnt the right time for us i guess. but its all good. and thank u for being there, for diverting all my sadness so i din crumble and break, for all the sweet lil things u did that melted me time and again. memories remain alrights, so thank u u amazingly wonderful amigo.

記得有個人曾讓你那樣的心碎

我不夠認份

所以怕再為誰作出犧牲

愛要有天份

所以我始終學不會放任

我不夠天真

不允許我傻傻的等

對自己殘忍多殘忍

我要有分寸

我太過認真

所以才相信所謂的永恆

愛讓人恍神

所以止不住不小心沉淪

我太負責任

不允許有太多悔恨

對自己坦誠多坦誠

我自有分寸

我只是無辜的人 很需要歎氣聲

有一些文字的吻 只留給傷過的人

明知道有些問題沒有答案 還是要問

原諒我 因為我就是 這樣的女生

i cant believe im not doing any work when theres THREE essays due SOON.

and its a sign ok A SIGN, my cute boy (which qi says looks like an ahbeng, but its so not true, and yan/naz agrees with me) has walked past me twice, for like 4 days consecutively. ok fine granted that hes in my class, thts not the point, hahahah, the point is we bumped into each other twice outside class everyday ok. like how wootsie please! THIS IS A SIGN. dear cute boy u better fall head over heels in love with me, if not dont walk past me can. thanks. (and i refuse to say hi, cant YOU say hi, dont say dont say lo, sulks)

sooooo, these few days have beeeen, an emotional rollercoaster. which im glad seems to have slowed down a bit now. SEEMS. i hate it whenever i calm down, and SOMETHING has to happen. and i totally breakdown like nobodys business. dumb i know. but sigh. its scary, to know that u can feel SO MUCH for a person, in which u break down and cry with heaving sobs (thinks about someone during a speech, coughs coughs, ok inside joke). and just well cry and cry and well cry more. and everything, everything hurtful that was said, rings in ur head, with tht same voice, same tone, same like atmosphere.

went for lunch alone today at my favourite noodle stall. woots. its amazing tht i have finally managed ta gather up the guts to do such stuff here. like finally. mayb its a step. forward i hope.

o yaya! and i went ta snip my hair. so now i look a little mushroom-y.

anyways, so todayyyy, im going to thank... jang jang janggggggg... vonny yip and yuan yuan. cause they have been there thru my grey black or white?- kinda times. thru my von howwww, tanheyuan howww-times. thru my indecisiveness over haircuts. and have always managed to survive it, albeit being v irritated. PLUS they have always given me the most logical, rational, calm-ish advice ever. which well is amazing. im thankful for u two, cause i cant imagine two beryls speaking to each other, we would probably go into massive panic attacks ten thousand times a day. so yes, thank you you two, for being the calmest ppl ever. i come in peace, and i adore u two alot. since i say so much nice stuff, von can i have my hongkong longchamp messenger bag at half price, and yuan yuan, can u send me 500 sing dollars by next week ya. PRETTY PLEASEEEE. adoreeee u both to the max (if my wish is granted of course). hahahahahahahahahaha

with love.

命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由

ok i have not blogged in ten thousand years. well, so here i am in korea.
and its the end of the third week.
three or four more weeks and i will be back in singapore.
i dont think im ready to leave this place, this bubble im in.
im not ready to face everything back there, alone.

im grateful, for all those who made me feel loved, vvv much loved before and after i left.
somehow, it made me drop a teensy weensy bit of the past i was living in. so thank u. i dunno if u know who u are. and im sorry if i dont tell u who u are. but, i will change that alright. :)

i have been slacing my butt off here, as always, i hope the finals wont kill me.

random notes bout koreaaaa:
i love kim/gim-bab to the max.
i love the noodles near our dorm to the max. (so much so i went to eat it alone, jang jang! big feat ok)
i shop so much i think i am runnin short of money (heyuannnn, HELP!!!)
all the clothes i buy have a few main common themes (grey, blue, white, striped)
i think ahujumas and ajushis hate me to the max, even here in korea
my suayness reigns, imagine this, the fried chicken uncle, REFUSE to sell ME fried chicken (like wth right)
im seriously totallly considering a tattoo (yes the same thing after all these yrs)
i miss monster many many.
i miss some i shldnt be missing, for now.
i cry too much at night, and i look fugly in the morn.
i have felt a multitude of emotions which i have never experienced before.
i did some stuff on my own which i would never have done before.
i learnt to open up a little.
i still need to learn how to smile more.

so i have decided to thank people whom matter :) two a day.

so dear mel loe and lao yongs, the two whom i whine, sulk and complain to so much im amazed they have not killed me, thank you.